Family relationships can be complicated, especially when roles shift suddenly. One day, the people who supported you are leaning on you instead, and you’re left questioning how much you can give without losing yourself.One of our readers, Emily (38, F), shared a story about her mother-in-law that explores loyalty, guilt, and the limits of caregiving.Here’s her letter:“Hello,I feel like I’m betraying my family by writing to you, but I really need an outsider’s perspective.My mother-in-law, Susan, has always been a rock for our family. She babysat whenever we needed her, helped with chores, and even chipped in toward our rent when things were tight. She was the first to arrive when there was a problem and the last to leave when everything was sorted. I used to tell my friends how lucky I was to have someone like her in my life.A sudden loss changed her life.A few months ago, my father-in-law, Bob. passed away unexpectedly. It was devastating. My mother-in-law lost her lifelong partner, her confidant, and her friend. I watched her struggle to adjust; the empty house felt like a constant reminder of everything she had lost. She started calling me frequently, sometimes just to hear a familiar voice. I tried to be there for her because she had always been there for me.I began to sink under the pressure.I didn’t mind being there for Susan; I could imagine what she was going through, but slowly her dependence on me grew to the point that her other children (including my husband) began to leave the responsibility of looking after their grieving mother to me alone.Calls came in the morning, afternoon, and night. Requests for help with bills, groceries, small errands, or just company. I answered them all at first, even when it meant stretching myself too thin and sometimes, neglecting my children.
