Camila thought she was almost ready to reach her goal of getting her dream car after years of hard work saving money for it. But when she finally got the money she needed, her husband’s response shocked her and threw her plans off track.
Are women bound to make sacrifices just because they are women? Shouldn’t we be able to follow our dreams? Since my life turned upside down, these questions have been following me around. I never thought that a car—a cherry red Mini Cooper—could change everything about my life. My life has been thrown into chaos over a car, and I’m 40 years old.
“Hey Jake, take a look at this!” I remember yelling at my husband and pointing excitedly at the beautiful ad in the magazine. That was ten years ago, not long after we got married.
Jake didn’t look up from his phone very often. “Cute.” “Save up and buy it yourself if you really want it,” he said in a low voice.
The rude tone in his voice should have been a red flag at that time. But I took him up on his dare because I was young and in love.
As time went on, Jake’s Audi A4 sat in our garage, spotless and off-limits to everyone.
“May I drive to the store?” I would sometimes ask.
Jake would laugh and look down his nose at me. “Will you scratch it anyway?” Not a chance. “You’re not a very good driver, Cam.”
Being told again of my place made me hold my breath. “Camila, I’m the main earner.” This car is important for keeping up my professional picture.
So I made my belt tighter. There will be no more small treats, new clothes, or trips. People I worked with as a stylist at a hair salon would often ask me to go out with them. “Can you come to dinner with us tonight, Camila?”
I’d smile and politely say no. “I can’t tonight, girls.” I am putting money away for a big thing.
After five hard years, I had finally saved enough. As I checked my bank amount one last time, my hands were shaking with excitement.
“Jake!” As I yelled, I couldn’t hold back my excitement. “I did it!” I have enough money saved to buy the Mini!”
I was hoping for a party or, at the very least, a warm hug.
I got a frown instead. As I was celebrating my success, Jake looked over my bank account and the happiness left my face, leaving behind a ghostly pallor.
He laughed in a dark way, not really finding it funny. “You’re not believing it.” Let’s talk.
Right then, my dream started to fall apart.
I felt a heavy sense of fear as we sat across from each other in the living room. Jake leaned in and spoke in a calm, condescending way, as if he were to describe something simple.
“Camila, I’ve been thinking about getting a better car for work.” We could buy something really cool with the money you’ve saved and the money we can get for my Audi. Something that would make my clients really happy.
As I tried to understand what he said, I blinked. “But… that’s my cash.” For my car.
His eyes became harder. “Cali, it’s our money.” Remember that we’re married? Plus, you don’t need your own car. I’ll take you anywhere you need to go.
“Jake, I’ve had this money saved up for years.” “That’s my dream,” I argued, my voice shaking.
He waved goodbye and left. “Dream?” Cali, it’s just a car. No need to be so emotional.
I felt like I was stuck in a bad dream. He threw out something I worked so hard for, how could he?
I tried to keep my cool and said, “I’m not being dramatic.” “I care about this. I’ve given up a lot to save this money.
Jake’s jaw was clenched tight. “And I’ve given up a lot to take care of us.” For work, I need a good car. “All you want is a toy.”
“It’s not a toy!” I answered back, losing my cool. “That’s my freedom.” It’s something I’ve worked hard for and deserves.
He replied, “Just for you?” “Isn’t that a little selfish?” What about what’s best for our family and me?”
I didn’t give up and stood my ground. “It’s best for the family if both adults feel valued and respected.”
His face turned red with anger. “Honor?” Please remember that I’m the one who pays for most of our costs. that my job helps pay the bills for this family?”
“My job also helps,” I argued, my voice shaking. “And it doesn’t matter if it didn’t—my dreams are still important.”
He made a mean face. “Dreams?” Hey Camila, wake up. You’re a hairdresser who is 40 years old and has big dreams. For going to the store, you don’t need a fancy car.
His words hit me hard, like a blow. I turned away and tried not to cry. I said, “This conversation is over.”
The stress in our home was obvious for days afterward. Jake didn’t talk to me very often, and when he did, it was only to say more bad things about how “selfish” I am.
The doorbell rang one evening while I was making dinner. It was my mother-in-law Wilma, and her face was filled with worry.
“Camila, dear,” she said, pulling me into a hug I didn’t want. “Jake has been calling me upset.” “Let’s talk.”
I took her into the living room against her will. She didn’t wait around. “I get that you want a car, but isn’t Jake’s plan smarter?” For work, he needs a solid car.
I took a big breath and tried to stay calm. “This is the money I set aside just for my car.”
She gave me a patronizing pat on the hand. “There is no’my money’ in a marriage.” Everyone needs to work together.
“A team that doesn’t care about my goals?” I quickly pulled my hand away.
She made a face. “Camila, don’t be so dramatic.” A helpful wife would put her husband’s work first.
I stood up with a strong will. “What about giving me help?” Doesn’t that mean something?”
Her face lit up with shock as she shook her head. “Cali, I raised you better than this.” “Stop being so stupid!”
But I stood my ground, even though the fights got worse and the distance between Jake and me grew. It wasn’t just about the car anymore; it was about respect, freedom, and whether my dreams were still possible in our marriage.